MADONNA: 50 CANDLES, 27 VIDEOS
Frankly, it’s of no personal consequence to me that MADONNA just made the half century mark. She’s done a few things that she can be proud of. But I find her success (just in terms of her actual level of talent and glamour) utterly baffling.
Plus, self absorbed personalities who adore themselves on a grandiose level such as that certainly don’t need any help from moi.
Haven’t been a fan since I was a little girl. Never will be again.
One thing MADONNA has always been fabulous at is self promotion. She’s also an incredible provocateur. She’s as excellent at that as…well, me.
So it’s particularly fitting that she raised music videos to an actual art form and that hers are some of the best out there.
Included in this vivid video gallery are: LIKE A VIRGIN (the lion, the canals in Venice and that gorgeous white dress make this a sumptuous feast for the eyes); MATERIAL GIRL (the ultimate MARILYN MONROE homage – satirizing the DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND musical number from GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES – great glossy pink gown); LIKE A PRAYER (religious imagery); EXPRESS YOURSELF (cats and saucers of milk, MADONNA in a pin striped suit grabbing her crotch, muscle bound men – much of it looking like a German expressionist epic from the 30s); VOGUE (see through lace dress); JUSTIFY MY LOVE (black and white debauchery); DON’T CRY FOR ME, ARGENTINA (from the movie EVITA) and BEAUTIFUL STRANGER (from the AUSTIN POWERS sequel).
To find the good stuff, please go here
August 24, 2008 at 9:48 am
Um, wow. You’ve summarized my exact thoughts on Madonna in just a few sentences. But I’ll take it a little further…
For her sake and her children’s sake – give it up, lady. You’re 50. You have nothing left to prove. Put some clothes on and start giving your money away.
Where did she get an accent from, anyway?
August 24, 2008 at 11:12 am
Oh, Christ that’s harsh, Danny. But it is VERY funny.
Well…realistically 50 is not the end of the line for females that it used to be. (God, that used to be 40. For EVERY woman. Not just actors.)
You do see a lot of women in that age bracket (some ordinary non film star types – some that have done the plastic surgery thing – some not) that look around 35. Occasionally younger. This is not uncommon now.
As for being a mother, well…
Men have ALWAYS been able to be sexual and be parents simultaneously and no one cares about that. (Sometimes overtly so and no one ever gets upset with them. Jack Nicholson has fathered children all over Southern California.)
But, to be fair, they weren’t whooping it up on stage (or otherwise) in skin tight leotards or wearing flesh baring outfits that exposed their asses or their pecs.
All of that seems a little extreme. You are absolutely right, Danny. MADONNA pushed all the buttons AND the envelope as far as she could years ago. Did that SEX book. Bragged about her conquests. Both male and female.
(Never understood that, actually. MADONNA is fiercely intelligent and hard working. I don’t always like things that she wears but there are times when she genuinely knows what she’s doing. She’s created a lot of trends out of nothing.
She’s always been in very good shape. Has a decent body.
She’s a talented dancer. She’s not a terribly good actor OR singer. I don’t think she’s attractive. She’s not sexy. AT ALL. From what I understand, she’s not a nice woman or particularly charming. And her whiny speaking voice just makes me want to leave the room every time she opens her mouth…
So, aside from the fact that she’s rich and famous – and, if you were that kind of an idiot, you could brag about being with her – why would anyone want to be involved with her anyway?
Hell, SEAN PENN married her.
I don’t get it. Never did.)
There was some speculation in some quarters at the time – from what I understand – that she might just jump off the deep end into actual porn after that book. She had gone as far as she could and had done EVERYTHING ELSE.
So instead she got married and had kids. But that is certainly a radical shift. Worthy of her personal unconventional outlook, I’m sure – and just as calculated as everything else that she does.
I imagine that putting it out there (in those skimpy outfits) wouldn’t bother young children. They don’t pay attention to any of that. But when they’re older…However, what with all that money rolling in, I’m sure embarrassment is an exceptionally small price to pay.
Plus she’s calling her tour “Sticky & Sweet”. Nice. Very classy.
Interesting also that you should mention the accent. My last ex is from London. He told me that she’s a bit of a joke over there. (They call her MADGE. Apparently she doesn’t like it.)
England has loosened up a bit the last few years. But they’re still very class conscious. You can have all the money in the world and they still won’t accept you. They know a social climber when they see one.
Incredibly wealthy American upstarts don’t interest the upper classes one iota. They like good manners, taste and families that can trace their ancestry over centuries. The middle class may be curious about her. But I doubt that they care much.
She’s on her own in Britain. Believe me.
Thanks for that, Danny. You’ve expanded on my points admirably. There’s a lot of truth in what you say.
Amen to that….
August 26, 2008 at 4:01 am
Glad that what I said didn’t come off as insensitively sexist. For what it’s worth, I don’t think Nicholson needs to be cavorting around, either! Her tour title is seriously unnecessary, too. For all the success she has had, it just seems like she could direct her efforts to real issues at this time and still make a career out of it. What is the point of continuing a music career at this point? At some point she may just start to put her status as a music icon in jeopardy. Not now, but maybe in a few years…maybe…
Interesting insights from the ex about classism in England. I didn’t know. So she’s too low-class for England and too high-class for the U.S.!
August 26, 2008 at 9:45 am
Well, to be perfectly honest, Danny, we’re friends and I like you as a person. So you do get somewhat of a free pass here.
Not only out of fondness but for the fact that I know you well enough that I’m confident that you have the best intentions, that we see a lot of things much the same way and that you would never deliberately try to offend me.
BTW, have you seen the publicity photos for her new tour? They’re over at PEOPLE.com. Hey, it’s great that she’s in such remarkable shape. That’s admirable. But it’s kind of skirting the bounds of good taste to my mind.
But when has that ever stopped her?
I think that what you’re saying is entirely correct, Danny. MADONNA is a musical icon (God only knows why, but she is) and she has a tremendous amount of power within the media. I’m not the slightest bit interested in anything she does. But many people still are. So she could use the power that she still possesses for good – social issues, various causes etc.
I don’t see her doing it.
There have been rumours over the years that she’s given time and money away to various charities. The reason that none of this information came to light is because she apparently wanted it done anonymously.
Remember, though. Those are just rumours.
But those stories run completely counter to everything I’ve ever heard and felt about this woman. I would certainly change my opinion and have much more respect for her if I KNEW that they were true.
It just appears – at this point in time – that she’s out there looking for every last dollar that she can get. I know she has a family to raise. I’m sure that’s important to her – and it should be. But I have heard she’s tremendously tight with money. For some people, they can never have enough.
Yeah, my last ex is a lovely guy. We split totally amicably and we’re still friendly though I haven’t talked to him in a while. He’s a middle class Londoner with a feminist bent. We tend to admire the same women in the public eye for many of the same reasons.
He thinks MADONNA is a good dancer but he’s unimpressed with anything else about her. I don’t think England is thrilled to have her. That’s for sure.
“For what it’s worth, I don’t think Nicholson needs to be cavorting around, either.”
Honey, if I gave prizes out at CP, you’d have one in your hands today. Jack is a great actor. Many people that know him love him. But enough all ready, man.
Sex is one thing. Mostly. But fathering kids all over the god damn place is just bloody irresponsible.
I’m surprised that, with all the women that he’s been with (especially since he became a big star – because I’m sure that’s when these guys start getting SERIOUS ACTION) that that thing is still in operation.
Shouldn’t it be worn out by now…?