POP CULTURE: BE KIND TO REDHEADS
FROM POPEATER
I found this article absolutely hysterical…from a wide variety of perspectives. Thanks to the splendid BEN WIDDICOMBE for my glorious laugh for the day.
Though I’ve been a blonde for years (as in the lightest shade imaginable without going ash), there’s still plenty of ginger in my long unbridled waves. Let me tell you…
I am much more red when I’m totally natural. But I was always auburn/strawberry blonde as opposed to a deep shade of red.
Still, Carrot Top says that no one will have sex with redheads.
Well…
From 14 on, I could easily have been one of the most wicked young women on the west coast. Men have never tired of pursuing me.
I don’t think it will ever end.
I’ve had my share. Believe me. But I never needed to go above and beyond the call of duty. There are men that you fall in love with and men that you lust after. (Admittedly, a lot of the time it’s the same thing. Or pretty damn close.)
But if you possess a bit of decency and common sense, you have to draw the line somewhere.
Eventually.
All Carrot Top needs is some new cologne. That should give him a boost. Trust me on this. It’s not rocket science.
In news that will come as a relief to the people of New Jersey, pop culture has found a new tribe to pick on. The latest unlucky victims are redheads, who have had a spectacularly rough couple of months.
This week, rapper M.I.A. caused a stir with a nine minute video (since banned from YouTube) for her song BORN FREE, which shows ginger topped unfortunates being rounded up by American police. Any sense that this might be a lighthearted satire of actual ethnic persecution is swiftly dashed by a graphic scene in which a young boy is shot through the skull. That is quickly followed by a guy getting blown up by a landmine…and then a man is beaten to death.
This attack on redheadedness comes only a few days after a bizarre Australian public service advertisement went viral on the internet. Called DON’T BE A DICKHEAD, the commercial shows a cherry coloured pair in bed while the voice over warns, “Every time you use your mobile phone while driving, Gingers get fresh.”
The strange message is that distracted driving will cause redheads to breed – and clearly, we don’t want that.
While redheads everywhere might face problems on the playground, it is in Britain and its Commonwealth off shoots that Gingers seem to face the most persecution.
(The fact that Britain has a tall, blond heir to the throne in Prince William – whose also ran brother Prince Harry is a hard partying redhead – only reinforces the stereotype.)
Speaking of which…
PopEater reached out to America’s most famous redhead, the entertainer Carrot Top, for the final word on this burgeoning social problem.
On vacation in Florida, he emailed: “I had a woman stop me [in] the elevator the other day. She said she had seen a story that the redhead population was on its way to becoming extinct. She looked at me and said, ‘Why do you think that is?’ I said, ‘Because nobody is having sex with us!‘”
It’s jokes like that, Mr. Top, that get you guys in trouble in the first place.
